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CokeHEAD!

November 24, 2009

I'll Bust the Windows Out Your car

September 03, 2009

 

So I've broken up before, and its all really bullshit. But I made up some rules and got some input from friends on a safer way to cut that burden OFF!!


RULE #1
Do NOT rebound with someone who you know is interested in really wifing you up. That’s just mean. And you hurt their poor little feelings, they might come after you with a bat, glue your windshield wipers to your windshield, put candy bars in your gas tank, throw cooking flour on your car and wet it (yeah it stinks and sticks!), or something for revenge….. just avoid the drama.

*Note these ideas were not for actual use….unless someone deserves it

RULE #2
DO NOT rebound with someone you would actually like to date. In rare cases, a rebound can turn into relationship, but most of the time the other person knows their place and likes it there. So make it clear to your new friend that you don’t expect anything serious, just a friend to talk to and blah, blah, blah.

RULE #3
DO NOT rebound with any exes unless you know without a shadow of a doubt that both you and he are 1000 percent over each other. I do not really support getting back with any exes, EVER! There is a reason that person is your ex…so pick another!

RULE #4
If you’ve been dumped, you can start dating whenever the hell you want. You cannot, however, date an ex’s friend or family member. That is just wrong, unless they cheated on you. In that case, all is fair in love and war. But you don’t want to ruin your rep to get back at your ex. It’s a waste of time and energy and in the end you usually look like the dummy. Sometimes to the next you are just a fuck. So take that into consideration, before choosing the new “one”.

RULE #5
Get your own poppin’. Don’t dwell on the past now, it’s about your future. The only way to move on is to get on top of your shit and come hard. Make him/her realize how much the shit you are!

RULE #6
DO NOT start dating someone new while still living with your ex. First off get the heck out the same spot as your ex. Stay with a friend or if you have the ends….dip out and get a new spot.

RULE #7
DO NOT hang out at the spots and bars your ex introduced you to with a new friend. Technically, those spots belong to him. Would you want him to start taking his dates to you hang out spots?!? I think not. I mean if you want to be a little childish… but again avoid the drama!

RULE #8
If a relationship ended mutually, it’s kindest to keep new relationships hush-hush for a few months. For example, don’t take the replacement around to meet you and your ex’s mutual friends a week after your breakup. You don’t want to make anything awkward for anyone… including your new honey bun.

RULE #9

Take the time to focus on yourself and get your stuff right. It’s not always about dating and the next dude or female. Have a little casual dating here and there, if necessary.

RULE# 10

MUSIC….. There is a song for every moment in life. Heart broken? Play something to mend it. A little secret Country music may not help your broken heart, it tends to be a little sadL. Find your happy music that makes you smile and listen to it over and over. I’m pretty sure music has gotten me through tons of things in my life. Make a playlist that matches your mood or a hate song or two works great!

Here are a few songs to add to your iPod…my mind is drawing a blank right now.

No More tears on my Pillow –Mya

Don’t Trust No N-bomb- Khia

Irreplaceable- Beyonce

Love is a Battlefield- Pat Benatar

Let Me- Sergio Medes

Where did he Go – Keri Hilson

Energy- Keri Hilson

Knock You Down – Keri Hilson

Intuition- Keri Hilson

Anything by Carly Simon

Music is what feelings sound like.


Below are a few quotes that may help some get through……

Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.

It’s hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does ( I always ask can I have my heart back now?!)

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew. ( So true and sucks major butt!)

A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it.

The heart was made to be broken. ( I think this is a bullshit quote!)

And I’m ending this post with this quote!

If someone you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it!

Hoes and Toes

June 10, 2009

 

 

Oh bitch your fly, but you don’t look too fly, you’re looking more like you’re in pain. So my random rant…. Shoes! So I’ve always been a fashion forward person, more into clothes than shoes.

Heels are a female’s worse enemy; I don’t care what size you are or how tall you are. Heels are painful, they may start off mighty comfy, but by the end of the day or night the balls of your feet are on fire. I won’t lie I could easily put on anything with a pair of chucks.

I have tried the ball pads, heel pads, and all of Dr. Scholl’s remedies to more comfortable feet. Yeah they work for the first part of the night, but after 3 or more drinks and my feet are still hurting, it’s a problem.

Many females have a problem taking off their shoes at the club or walking to their car. Ladies, if your feet hurt no one is going to talk bad about you if you take your shoes off. Maybe a comment like “Her feet must hurt, I feel her”. But please believe if your walking on the side of those shoes, grabbing onto cars as you walk past them, limping, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m gonna get a chuckle in like “ damn her feet hurt”. Take off your shoes! You have a shower at home so wash those dogs when you’re settled.

I’ve started finding clutch purses that are large enough to pack a pair of flats, just in case these bad boys don’t hold up.

Oh and I know it sucks when you find that pair of shoes that will go perfect with that one outfit… you know the one! You try them on, and your like uh huh these already hurt. Super sucker!

Now to corns… yes ladies even the prettiest females can get those on them toes! The pinky is the first one to go down! Don’t be embarrassed to protect your toes, you can get corn cushions to make your shoes feel so much more comfortable on. Now don’t put the corn cushions directly on your toes, you don’t want come out your shoes in front of people with these big beige colored pads on your feet. The secret is to place the sticky part inside the shoe, this way you will always have padding if you chose to wear those killer shoes again.

But wait there’s a whole line for shoe inserts for females!

http://www.drscholls.com/drscholls/forher/insolesandinserts.jsp

Next post “The Secrets to staying Fly, Shit Men Never Knew”!

Playlist For Today’s Post

Esa Nina- Juan Manuel

Live Your Life – T.I ft. Riahnna

Amarga Soledad- MJ

 

Their NOT called Boobs

May 16, 2009

So I decided when your boobs get to a certain size the name changes. When your nine and you get your first little bump in the chest region these are called boobies. Teenage years let's refer to them as your chest, when you hit you twenties and your in a D- cup sweetie those are called TITTIES. Don't call your adult clevage boobs, it's pure disrespect to the twins.

Remeber your first training bra?!?! I was sooo geeked up and my Mom bought me matching panties. What?!?! You couldn't tell me nothing. Now I have advanced..whomp whomp to TITTIES.

Now one thing I don't understand, if your boobs are not a A-cup, why get implants? I hate the way your shirt pulls around the neck when you have those things cagged inside. Please believe big is not cool!

Why do people feel that it is ok to poke or grab and even say something about your chest? Like " damn Al I didn't know you had those", yes fucker I have them their mine not yours your keep your grubey hands away!

When your beyond a D-cup damnit the hell it is not, I repeat it is not ok to wear yours boobs out. With super low cut shirts. It's not a turn on, it kind of makes us throw up in our mouths a little bit. Get a shirt that fits and a bra. I know it sucks that when you get to a large bra the styles aren't that fly, but at least your TITTIES will be presentable and not falling onto your thighs.

Random.... so one day I put up a status basically saying I've never had to show off my body to pull dudes. So I found that many females took offense to this. One girl approached me at the club with the biggest TITTIES and says "Look I'm a lady tonight I got my boobs covered". Correction bitch those are TITTIES squared and that shirt is garbage. But I am glad I inspired her to attempt to cover those things!

Talley HO TWINS!

Playlist for this Post:

Hey Lil' Mama - The PUPPIES

True Love - Faith Evans

Can't See with Your Eyes Closed

May 16, 2009

So I'm not completely sure what I want my blog to focus on. I guess whatever I feel like blogging however it comes and whenever it comes.... I'll blog.

 

So here's a random rant.... I wonder if I was a dude's current girlfriend would I wonder if his ex-chick still liked him. Damn am I intimidating when it comes to me being the ex? Like are they thinking oh he would probably still mess with her, or he's still calling her. Who's in question? Me or your dude? Frankly I don't give a flying coach roach ( I Googled the spelling, looks weird) if your dating him, he's MY EX. Clearly there was something wrong in the relationship and we aren't together again. I honestly just act like.....

 

*PAUSE* as I type this blog I just recieved a text from the "ex" saying "Do u still like me because I still love u". Hmmmm ya must be punch drunk buuudddyyyy. Why is my number even still stored in your phone? Tisk Tisk Tisk this could be the shit current girlfriends go through.

 

Carrying on ......we never dated. So you can take that problem off my hands. Thanks your a doll ( I put my Boston accent on for this comment).

 

More bars in more places... so what kind of bars are they? Like what kind of music do they play? Are their drinks strong? What's the crowd like? Thanks  AT&T for the slogan.

 

 

 

Playlist for this Blog:

Not A Stain on Me (Remix) - Gucci

I'd Rather Go Blind - Beyonce version

I Heard Love was Blind - Amy Winehouse

Infomercialoffering Your Baby Can Read

 

 

Pissed Off ....Is Wayne Brady gonna have to Smack a B-word

May 11, 2009

So I had to vent. Either I suck on the internet or my computer sucks. So I'm pointing the finger at this pink bitch! I just made the best post about music and my computer kicks me off the internet saying that the Flash Player had issues. Fuck you Flash Player get off your cycle and send me a warning, so I can copy and man down the fort. So I will begin to post more and I do apologize for the lack of post from the interesting life of Alison.

Playlist for this short ass post:

No Limit Soldiers - Master P. ft TRU

New York, New York.. Will you Welcome Me? Or....

March 10, 2009

Smack me in my face, and tell me to take my country ass back to the farm?!?!

So I have wanted to move for ages now. I said I was going to be a 21 year old millionaire. Well I am going on 23 in less than 2 weeks and I am pretty much ancient now. New York is my new place I want to reside. I mean Ohio isn't what many people would think, we don't tip cows and grow corn all day. It's actually current on everything that comes out, now music we do get a little late.

 

Can a Ohio chick make it in the "big city"? Rent, subways, no Wal-Marts, skating rinks, no cars, shopping expense, strangers and rent again! I will have no support, and have not saved. But the longer I wait the more years are added onto my life. The economy doesn't frighten me at all. If there are jobs posted and people are looking, then I am applying. Just hire me already! There are several magazines to work for and ugly chicks to make pretty. Right now I will kind of take anything.

 

So I thought maybe if I decide to attend Parson's or MUDD makeup school, maybe the rents will want to support...or not. So I am taking every angle in perspective. I don't want to live with strangers, they might be dirty or crazy like my friends lady she nannied for in NY.

Here's your random story of the day. So my friend moves to NY randomly and works at a salon, well she gets offered a nanny job, which she took since she was new to the city and needed the extra funds. Hmm this lady was indeed loco!! She stole her bra and took it to a plastic surgeon and siad she wanted her boobies ( and yes I said boobies, I couldn't figure out how to spell breastasess) to be that size, tickled her feet blasting Celine Dion to wake her up in the morning, and who knows what else. Needless to say my friend is here back in Ohio. I can say she is about as random as me and will pick up and move back to N.Y.

 

Is this the place for me or should I start slower, it's so many questions to ask. I just want to be out of Ohio now. I don't belong here anymore. I just want to thank Columbus, Ohio for getting me this far and I appreciate you, but our time is over.

To move to New York or to Cali... just get me out of here already.

 

Yeah this was kind of a vent post. Comment if you please. Ideas and support will be great to read.

 

 

 

Playlist for Today's Post:

Blame it - Jamie Foxx

Breathe - The Prodigy

Smack my b-Word Up - The Prodigy

Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-alot

Oops I Flashed You

March 06, 2009

Cameras are probably the next best thing created since lipgloss. Bump sliced bread that can't make you look pretty and make your lips look kissable.

Lights, camera, Flash... take a picture of this! Reguardless to if your taking a picture of me, something or someone around me, I am ready with a bright smile, peace sign, and pose. Somewhere in Asia there is a picture floating around of me, I jumped in some tourist picture and they then invited me to the front to pose, so hey I won't turn a picture down.

 I remember when I first heard Beverly Hills by Weezer, " Take my picture by the pool, cuz I'm the next big thing". I mean did he write those lyrics for me? Capturing memories wheter they are drunk, funny, crying, arrested, after a argument no matter what, it is a memory frozen inside of your camera. I named my digi because she is kind of like my homie, the name is M.J (Mary Jane), she pretty much rolls with me everywhere I go.

Don't just take pictures and leave them in your camera until you run out of memory space and have to delete them. Put them to use and let people see the world you live in and the life you live. Scrapbooking is pretty much a party in its own. No need to get dressed up and wear some uncomfortable heels. I made it a girls night and had a ball. I showcase my pictures all the time. I even rotate the frames in my bedroom with new pics.

Don't you hate when you look really cute in person and your like feeling yourself, then you take a snap shot to put as your Facebook profile picture, and well.... it doesn't look as cute as you thought it would. Why does that garbage happen!?

Oh I just want to thank my ex-boyfriend, he sucked at playing the boyfriend role. But I got a really nice 13.6 mega pixel camera out of the deal! So thanks!!

 

ARE YA PICKING UP, WHAT I'M PUTTING DOWN?!?!

 

Playlist for Today's Post:

Her Mr. Dj - Zhane

Cruel Summer - Bananarama

Real Love - Mary J. Blidge

Red Wine - UB40

Fuck The Industry - Solange ( she wrote this for me I think)

Thrift Me in the Air

February 14, 2009
I have made the realization that thrift stores are the best place to shop. I came across a pair of earrings that I had to have. So while I'm waiting in line, I'm asking myself how could the original owner get rid of these one of a kind hotness to trotnes pair of earrings!? Did they die and they're family just cleaned house and plastic bagged these and dropped them off at The Ohio Thrift Store. Well thank you Peggy( I made her name up) for these hot new earrings. Its ok to buy items too big too, for how little u pay, cut that ish to fit!

Cherry Cherry Boom Boom

February 13, 2009

 As far as "titles" and deserving them. I believe I deserve everything. But a title is not for me reguardless to if I am your girlfriend, wife, homegirl, etc. I am still and always will be Alison S. Carter. So I feel I need to be address as so, before your whatever you want to call me. And it is no one's buisness who I am. Know I am the one beside him and that's that. Any question about it.. ask your damn self. And make up an answer. I also feel titles make everyting messy. You expect things to change because you are now his "girlfriend", but don't get it twisted it is not only the females that trip out, dudes get the title syndrome too. The only titles that really matters is HIS WIFE. I didn't like hearing this from my Dad, but is true. I do think you are his girlfriend or signifigant other until ther vows are exchanged, and there are rules that go along with that.

Random post. Just because V-day is tomorrow. I love myself. Happy Valentine's Day Alison. Oh thank you Alison

Playlist During Today's Post:

I Hate You - Kelis

Disco Stick - Lady Gaga

Don't Trust No N-Bomb - Khia